So the other day this thought hit me like a brick.... Oh my gosh, I wrote a letter to myself in young woman's 10 years ago and I was supposed to open it this summer!!! So, I've been racking my brain trying to remember where I put it. I have been carrying this letter around with me for 10 years and I always seem to find it when I don't need it. A few times over the years I've been tempted to read it and never have. So after searching through my whole room and all my junk.... I have found it! I just read it.... and I'm thinking to myself... really? You have waited 10 years to read that? It was very anti-climactic. And, I pretty much knew what it was going to say. Of course at age 16 I thought I'd be married by now. The letter goes as follows: Next time you read this you should (heavily underlined) be married with atleast 1 kid. Hopefully you are married to (protecting the innocent, I'm going to use a fake name) John Doe. Remember him? Sophmore English/ If you're not, I forgive you. I know your guy is great! Today in young woman's we learned about knowledge. There are 4 areas: 1-academic/vocational 2. Cultural/arts and sports 3. Practical and 4. Spiritual. In 10 years I hope to have learned about Cosmotology or photography. I also hope to have been married in the Salt Lake Temple.
Love always,
Kellyanne Malbica (written June 6, 1999)
So I have decided that I am going to write a letter to my 16 year old self. I'm writting this letter as if I could possibly send it back in time where I would read it and inevitably change the course of my life... or atleast bring more understanding to it.
Dear Kellyanne (written Sept 21, 2009)
If you are reading this, my plan worked. You should be getting ready to start your Jr. year of high school. This is the 26 y.o me writting this and there are just a few things I want you to know. It might make your life easier. And no, I'm not telling you who I am married to or if I'm even married because that will ruin the magic of things. Kellyanne at 16 you experience some really hard things. Harder than most at your age have yet to face. You recently had a death in your family. The passing of Grandpa Evans was a lot for you to take in. Just know that where you will always miss him, You will have times in your life where you feel he is right there with you. You were also recently in a car accident and are still very afraid of being in a car. I know you pray each and every time you are in a car but, that will eventually go away. Please listen to everything your physical therapist tells you to do and listen to mom when she constantly tells you to wear your scars with pride. Your scars are now apart of who you are. They tell a story of bravery and strength. Also, they make for good ice breaker conversations and guys dig them!! Be nicer to your siblings. You may not always get a long with them and someday you will become better friends with them and you'll regret how much time you spent being mean. Especially to Drew. You will one day wish you had gotten to know him better when he was younger.
At the age of 16 you are still very innocent and struggle with the thought of others making mistakes. You need to forgive people and realize that everyone (even you) are going to make mistakes. And there are friendships you have now that you still will have in 10 years when you are my age. Hold those friendships close. They mean a lot to you. Don't be so quick to judge. Remember there are two sides to every story.
Don't be discouraged when that cute boy you like doesn't ask you out. Never let it make you feel like less of a person. You are a good person and a boy not liking you is not ever worth questioning your personal worth. There is someone better out there for you. I know up til now all you've ever wanted is to experience love. You always have been and always will be a hopeless romantic. You will get that, you will feel love that makes you act insane, makes you lose sleep, and brings you joy. But, you will also experience the loss of that same love, a loss so deep that you cry harder than you could ever imagine to the point that you feel like pieces of your soul have been ripped out and shattered. But, know this, the saying it is better to have loved and loss then to never have loved at all, is very true. You will be strenghtened and you will grow emensly from everything you experience. You are very blessed. Don't let anyone tell you that you're not. And don't let anyone try to tell you that you are less than what you are. Be happy and look on the bright side of every situation. You will do good things. Always remember who you are.
Love,
Kellyanne
P.S if a guy ever calls you past 10:30pm and wants to "hang out" just tell him no ;)
5 comments:
HA! That was a fun read. I really liked it. I have a letter that I wrote to Courtney when I was 13/16 or whatever and she's supposed to open it when she's 12. I'm scared for what it says and have often times stared long and hard at it, worrying that I've made a fool out of myself.
I love the letter you sent to your 16 year-old self. It was beautiful. Since I wasn't around much during our teenage years I didn't get to know what you got to experience growing up and by reading that it seems like you've had your tough times. I never knew you were in a car accident and that you are still frightened to get into a car. I also didn't know that Grandpa's death affected you so much. Yet--another reason why I'm so sad that we didn't live closer to see each other.
I like that idea of writing a letter back to yourself. I remember when I was 15/16, praying to Heavenly Father that he'd show me a glimpse of how my life would be like in ten years. I was going through major depression and had thoughts of suicide and could not for the life of me imagine myself normal, or even alive ten years down the road.
I'm glad you're doing well and I'm glad we're back in touch!
Sorry for the novel!
Dear Kellyanne,
I love this. the end.
deanna
xoxoxo
What a great idea, KA. You even made me get teary eyed! Don't do that, especially when I'm at work with about 25 guys and no girls!
Hey girlie, mom here. You know what, that was probably the mostly insightful thing I've read in a while. If only I'd done that to myself, maybe I could have saved myself some of life's (and my own form) of life's heartaches. But these are the things that make us stronger and ultimately who we are! Just remember that the Lord is always mindful of you! I know I sure am. You are so loved my me.
Love, your biggest fan,
Mom
Hey thanks so much for all of your comments! I was worried at first that baring a part of my soul on my blog might not have been the best idea, it seemed a bit too personal but, I'm glad that you all enjoyed it and appreciated it. I'll keep the stories coming if you keep reading! Love you all! Especially you mom!!
-Kellyanne
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